In full disclosure, this blog is a bit of a rant. So carry on at your own risk.
There are a few things you need to know about me. I am a career woman. I have a good job and I consider myself to be successful, focused and driven. I am proud of myself for many things, one being that I have my master’s degree, another that I accomplished my dream of being in charge of a communications department at the age of 26. I also am a wife and a stepmom. And no, Adam and I do not have any kids of our own … yet.
These bits and pieces make up who I am. They are also my choices. I chose to get my master’s degree. I choose to work. Adam and I have chosen not to have kids yet. The reasons why don’t matter. What matters is that they are our choices to make and no one else’s.
Why the rant you might ask? In the past year, I have been made to feel bad because I don’t have children and have chosen not to. I have also been made to feel like my work and my accomplishments are not important because really, I shouldn’t be working. I have been told that because I don’t have children, I have all the free time in the world to do whatever I please.
Now normally, these things wouldn’t get to me. But here’s what does. The people who have asked me these questions were all women. And that got me thinking. Why are women are our own worst enemies? Why aren’t we rooting for each other and lifting one another up instead of tearing each other down?
As my dear friend Dani says:
“The sad truth is, not enough women love other women. Not enough of us remember that a win for one of us is a win for all of us. Instead, we are taught to think that anything one woman has or gets only takes away from what we have a shot at. We let our insecurities rule and our emotions get the best of us … But this is not the way it has to be. While some women bring you down, there are also women who will pick you up, tell you you’re great and take you out for a cocktail or four (if you need them). They are friends and strangers who will fill your life with joy and with love. My point is, that as women, we’re in this together. We can all be successful, be proud of it and still be on the same team.”
I have been crazy blessed with many women in my life who lift me up and will continue to do so, through all lifes ups and downs. My hope is that each woman finds other women like this. Women who build you up, who support you, no matter what. Whether you choose to work or not. Whether you choose to have kids or not. Whether you choose to go back to school or not. Whether you choose to get married or not.
Lets have the courage to live a life that’s true to ourselves. And lets lift one another up along the way.